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Is it because, with age, we care more about a relationship’s potential longevity, rather than just instant sexual gratification?
Or perhaps we become more acutely aware of the impermanence of beauty after experiencing our own signs of aging?
Popular culture tells us that it’s normal for average-looking or even unattractive men to date beautiful women, as long as the men are successful—the trollish tycoon with the supermodel wife is a classic archetype—but that the reverse is somehow remarkable.
In sociology, this is called the “beauty-status exchange”—an attractive person pairs with a wealthy or powerful person, and both win. But according to new research by University of Notre Dame sociologist Elizabeth Mc Clintock, despite outliers like Anna Nicole Smith and J.
“The guy I was dating would endlessly post half-naked selfies, and then wait around to see how many people liked them.
He just constantly needed validation.”Personally, the people I’ve been most attracted to—not the superficial kind of attraction we feel to a pretty person on a page, but a deep, chemical attraction—have not been conventionally beautiful.
I hated myself for having such superficial impulses, but I couldn’t help it: I want to be able to show my partners off to the world for both what they do how they look. In the past, when a friend has introduced me to a new partner who’s superhot, but clearly an idiot, I’ve judged them for it.
Deep attraction is, of course, a multisensory experience.
But according to Millie, all of this unearned praise and attention can present problems in relationships.
“When you’re a model, or just extremely good-looking, people are constantly telling you that you’re beautiful, but those people usually want something from you,” she told me.
Or, more simply, have we just realized that dating freakishly beautiful people isn’t all it's cracked up to be?
A female friend once told me, “It’s always best to date attractive men, but not attractive that everyone’s constantly trying to jump on their dick, because that’s just stressful.” The sentiment actually made a lot of sense to me.
Not to mention that people get away with so much more when they’re attractive.”And that’s not just true of relationships; it's true of life in general.